Independent Review on Poverty and Life Chances

Some time ago we were asked to make a submission to Frank Field's Review, which has just been published, and can be found at this link:

http://povertyreview.independent.gov.uk/media/20254/poverty-report.pdf

U-Too was one of 31 CSJ Alliance members who contributed to the Review. Page 86 of the Review says that, "Submissions from the CSJ Alliance emphasised the role of the family relationships as being the key determinants of positive outcomes. Structure and stability of the family, emotional stability of the parents, parenting skills, quality of adult and child relationships, inter-adult relationships and positive adult role models were all identified as crucial factors. Love and affection in a committed family setting was by far the single aspect of early childhood most often cited as having the greatest influence."

All of us involved with U-Too; dads, mums and tutors; know how true this all is. Let's hope the Government decides to take the Review's recommendations seriously and supports the sort of work which we and so many other social enterprises and charities know is fundamental to improving the life chances of so many children.

Dad Academy focus group

Fifteen of us met at the Methodist International Centre on Thursday. Most came from London but we weren't the only provincials. Nor was Den the only young dad. The meeting started with a general discussion about what it means to be a dad and went on to identify great ideas for groups of local fathers to do with their children. Den talked about his experience of Story Sacks in Swindon and it was humbling to hear about the wide range of other really creative projects that were going on elsewhere in the UK. Of particular interest to us was the baby massage programme in Lewisham where dads are being trained to run sessions for other dads, the comprehensive Dangerous Dads activities programme which has been developed in Devon, and the use of film animation in Birmingham. There's so much good stuff going on.

The Fatherhood Institute

We've been asked to take part in a Fatherhood Institute meeting in London on Thursday. Den and I will be going and we'll report what happens.

More Arts Award stuff

The following info has come from Create:

Steven and Den's files are actually very good.

Den has specifically said that the arts award gave him the confidence to go to college.

Also quote from Steven

"I am very happy and proud of the progress I have made and the achievement I have gained from this course. I have learned so much about art, music, media and about myself, I feel I can now be confident enough in my work and can take the next step to getting my poetry publicly recognised. I have more ambition and more determination to do the things I want to do, but couldn't do before."

Steven has mentioned wanting to do work experience with us to write for the Artsmad newsletter, he is being used as a case study on the arts awards website and having his review published on there.

The fact that Jenny and Lisa have completed at all is a massive achievement considering Lisa has had a baby in the middle of the award and Jenny has been moved by social services ...

Well done you guys!

Dads AND Mums do great

I've just heard from Dienka that Den, Lisa, Steven and Jenny have all achieved their Silver Arts Award, and Mark may complete next month. This really is fantastic as it's equivalent to a GCSE A-C pass. And for young people whose school careers were less than wonderful, it's a reminder of just what they're capable of. More details to follow.

Silver Arts Award

Steven has submitted the following article to the Arts Award regional magazine and it has been accepted for publication. Good stuff Steven!

Arts Award Event Review

By Steven Matthews

On Saturday July 31^st at 2pm an enthusiastic group of young fathers and mothers began to arrive at the Platform Youth Centre in Swindon.

They came from all different locations including Salisbury, Melksham, Paignton and Swindon.

They were here to hold an event, which many had organised as part of their Silver Arts Award.

The event was also being used to celebrate the successes of a young fathers group called Dads Matter Too which was set up a few years ago by founders Mike and Carolyn White, who were due to retire soon after the event.

The group of young fathers along with their tutor Mike had enjoyed recognition for their efforts, locally and nationally which included guest spots on various radio stations and the BBC Breakfast Show and even won two awards for their impact in the media and within communities.

The event took place inside a kitted out train carriage, which had been installed within the centre.

On entering it was clear that the five arts students had planned the event in great detail and seemed well organised.

They had even prepared a wide selection of food and drink for the event.

While waiting for attendees to arrive the room was filled with anticipation and excitement as many were deep in conversation, catching up with old friends and associates.

Once everyone had arrived the students made a few last minute checks then the event was underway.

It started with an introduction and a warm welcome before making preferences to the group, its achievements and detailing the agenda for the event.

Two photography students took their places ready to take photos of the event as another student took to the stage to perform a rap, which he had written for Mike, in recognition to the dedication, help and support he had provided for the group over the years.

The performance was followed by applause before the next act stepped up to perform.

After giving a short introduction a poem was read by one of the students, which he had written about his interpretation of the ongoing war.

He then finished his performance with a bow and rejoined the applauding group.

There was then a heartfelt speech from tutor Mike, who was honoured by the event and performances and reflected on the positive influence the young fathers group has had around the country.

The event then concluded with a group picture and a ‘thank you’ speech from some of the group and a display of photography and lyrics from the arts course.

Rhyme Time

Den wrote his 'Dad Rap' for Dads Matter Too over two years ago and has continued to write material, currently for his Silver Arts Award. Steven has been writing poetry for an even longer period of time, and even had one of them published. He has just written a new poem, which he has entered in the Calne Music & Arts Festival Poetry Competition.

A Thousand Soldiers

A thousand soldiers died today,

A thousand soldiers cried today,

A thousand promises broke away,

A thousand bodies laid to waste.

The blood-drenched fields go on for miles,

And in their camps there will be no smiles.

Just tears of sadness, mourning lost lives,

Making toasts and drinking wine.

But deep in their hearts madness awakes,

Patiently waiting for the next day.

This war is no longer about wrong or right.

It's about revenge, and avenging those who died.

Another U-Too dad has recently written some very personal poems so would prefer to stay anonymous, However he has also entered two of them in the CMAF competition and would like to share them with readers of this blog.

Dad

Many years on, not a lot has changed,
The time I don't see you still remains the same,
In a lot of ways I feel slightly deranged,
And in a lot of ways, I feel that you're to blame.

My memories are vague, few and far between,
Yet the fact remains the same, how absent you have been,
You escaped your responsibility, I find it obscene,
How you've kept the lack of contact, you washed your hands clean.

But was it me to blame? Is it me at fault?
I was just a child, and you were an adult,
How many times at night, I've woken with a jolt,
With fear, remorse and sadness, wishing my thoughts would halt.

I barely even know you, I'm not sure that I want to,
The pain that you've inflicted hurts more than it should do,
After all this time, I hardly care about you,
And all the time I'm wondering, is this the way you feel too?

Mother

The one person I've known my whole life through,
Who knows me better than any could do,
And yet how I realise I barely know you,
We don't talk often enough.

I find it so hard, I'm not quite sure why,
To talk to you more, as hard as I try,
But you don't complain, so neither do I,
Although this is how I feel.

I know for a fact that I'll look back one day,
And wish that we'd talked loads more, day to day,
As I beg for the anguish to just fade away,
That's not what I want for myself.

You've done all you can, when raising me,
To help me become all I can be,
I'll make you proud, just wait and see,
For everything you've done, I thank you.

Then

Evening sets upon us, as we argue the toss,

I don't know what it's all for, we're both at a loss,
I'm not quite sure what I've done, to make you so cross.

I loved everything about you once, but now we just despise,
We square up to each other, the anger in your eyes,
You spit at me, I hit you, and then I want to cry,
I've over stepped the mark, and I don't understand why.

The jealousy of things that the other gets to do,
The thought of you enjoying time makes me angry at you,
I look at how I'm thinking and I think "I don't mean to".

But there's nothing I can do and nothing I can say,
I try to apologise, but you're walking away,
We argue just a little more, then sleep 'til break of day.

We wake up nice and early, both of us in a mood,
We talk about it quietly, as we both have some food,
We both decide to let it slide, 'til it happens again,
The hassle we could have avoided, if we'd ended it then...

The final countdown

U-Too dads held a final get-together in The Platform's old railway carriage in Swindon yesterday afternoon. The event was organised by Den, Mark, Steven, Lisa and Jenny as part of the leadership element of their Silver Arts Award. But it also acted as a farewell to U-Too, and a celebration of its dads' work. An exhibition containing photos taken by Lisa and Jenny, a very moving anti-war poem written by Steven, and an equally moving rap written by Den, was displayed. Steven read his poem, Den gave the first public performance of his rap, and Mike reminded everyone of their experiences and achievements with U-Too. These included:
TV appearances:
Chris and Laura, Lee and Tash, and Marcus and Charlotte.
Film appearances:
Will and Rorie, and Den and Lisa.
Appearances in a wide range of national and local publications:
Chris and Laura, Marcus and Charlotte, Stuart, Marcus (again), Anthony and Chelsey, Ben and Georgie, Pat, Den (again), Lisa (again), Steven, Lisa (yet again), Brett, Gareth and John, and all those who took part in the Dads Matter Too film, which now appears in the Fatherhood Institute's Invible Fathers resource pack.
Delivery of sessions and workshops at local, regional, and national conferences:
John, Gareth, Den, Lee, Mark, Pat, Lisa and Mike.
National award acceptance speech:
Marcus
Bronze Arts Award:
Den, Lisa, Marcus, Charlotte, Mark, Steven, Brett, April and Jenny.
Level 1 OCN Personal Budgeting & Money Management:
Dan, Will, Rorie, Josh and Stuart.
Level 2 course in Effective Parenting:
Chris, Laura and Rorie.
Awards:
The Prince's Trust South West Region Community Impact Award 2008 for "Dads Matter Too".
The Centre for Social Justice Award 2009 for "U-Too Dads".

Everyone who has been part of U-Too can be proud of this enormous range of activities and it's a reminder that young people, particularly those who may write themselves off, or may be written off by others, are capable of so much if they are given the opportunity to demonstrate their talents and abilities.










Here's the exhibition and Steven reading his poem. And here are the final countdowners. From L to R Laura with Ellie and Chris from Westbury, Steven from Swindon, Gail (U-Too director and writer of the young dads-to-be course), Jenny from Swindon, Jackie of Bayford Arts (PhD student - and our wonderful film-maker and blog creator), Den with Max, and Lisa with Paige, all from Swindon, Mark, also from Swindon, John from Paignton, April with Harvey and Brett from Swindon, Mike and Carolyn (U-Too directors), and Nick, Jade and Kiera from Devizes.
Dave and Hannah, Dan and Zuzu, all from Salisbury, Will and Rorie from Trowbridge, Stuart and Leia from Melksham, Chris and Josh, both from Calne, and Anthony and Chelsey from Cricklade all had other commitments. Just as well because the railway carriage only holds 30 at the most!

More U-Too firsts

Certificates have just arrived for the first U-Too dads to complete the Open College Network's course in Personal Budgeting & Money Management. So congratulations to Dan, Josh, Stuart and Will. And congratulations to Rorie, Will's partner, who has also completed the course successfully.

U-Too firsts

Congratulations to Chris and Laura in Westbury. They have been taking NCLP's Level 2 course in Developing Skills in Effective Parenting since February and have just completed it successfully. Chris is the first father to have taken the course with U-Too and they are the first couple to have completed the course with us.

Dreamcatcher

Here's Chris with his own dreamcatcher. I've had to educate myself about them, and have discovered that good dreams go through the middle hole in the catcher while the bad dreams get caught in the web and perish in the dawn. On a more prosaic note, Chris is the first U-Too dad who, along with his partner Laura, has been taking the Level 2 Parents With Prospects course. He and Laura have both completed the first two units of the course and have nearly finished Unit 3. Great stuff!

Birthday boy

I just happened to be visiting Will, Rorie and Connor yesterday on Connor's first birthday. so a photo was clearly needed for the family album. Connor had a minor operation recently at Frenchay Hospital in Bristol. He seems none the worse for it.

End of an era

Carolyn and I have decided to retire because we're rather ancient. We wanted to find a way of seeing U-Too's work continue and were pleased that a charity, Learning Curve, based in Melksham, was prepared to take over our work. The takeover took place recently and we've been helping with the transition. You can find out more by pasting this link into your browser:

www.learningcurve.org.uk/Aboutus/News/u2join

Den is planning a farewell event at the Platform in Swindon on Saturday 31 July between 2pm and 4pm. We're going to be allowed to use the railway carriage! Invites will be sent out this week and we hope that most of the dads will be able to attend as it may be the last time we can all get together.

And one more

Congratulations to Dave and Hannah on the recent arrival of Layton.

Layton weighed in at 9lbs 7ozs. Ouch!!

Three new arrivals

Young men who have taken U-Too's course for young fathers-to-be have recently become fathers.

Here's Nick and Jade with Keira, Stuart with Sapphire, a sister for Jessica, and Bradley and Paige with Liam. Both Jade and Paige had attended our young mums-to-be course. Good luck to all of them!

Centre for Social Justice

There's a geat photo of Brett, April and the kids on the CSJ's website at http://www.centreforsocialjustice.org.uk/default.asp?pageref=446 It illustrates an article a CSJ seminar in London taking place on Friday where I'll be talking about our work.

Silver Arts Award

Brett, Lisa and JJ had their last session with Madeleine at Create's studio in the Wyvern Theatre yesterday. So their photography Arts challenge is nearly finished. Den, Mark and Steven have made good progress with their music Arts challenge and the tracks for their CDs have been laid down. Dienka is busy sorting ot the next bit of the Award and we hope everyone will have finished by July. There's already talk of going for Gold!

The General Election

Difficult to believe, but here's the Prime Minister in U-Too's teaching room at the Drove Children's Centre in Swindon this afternoon, talking to one of the young mums who has completed the YMTB course. He had asked to meet the current group of young mums-to-be and spoke to Lesley, the group's tutor, and to Carolyn. So altho' this is not strictly a dads' item, it looks as if the work of U-Too, and sister organisations, have an impact at a national level. And, although it is easy to be cynical about what might be construed as a typical photo-opp, he appeared to be genuinely interested in our work. Not that you'd have seen any of this if you watched tonight's news bulletins.

Who Needs Fathers?

Some of us might thing the answer to this question is obvious. But tonight sees the first of three documentaries on BBC2 about the effect on children of their parents' divorce. It will be interesting to see how the programmes answer the question.

BBC Switch

We received the following email from a BBC journalist who had interviewed Johnny and Charmaine last week.

Just to let you know that Charmaine and Jonny were on Newsbeat on Radio 1 this (Tuesday 23rd) lunchtime http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/b006wkry

...and also on our website http://www.bbc.co.uk/switch/revealed/?story=sextalk

and on BBC Breakfast too! They did really well. And Harmony looked lovely

Being technologically challenged I've no idea whether these clips can still be seen, but it might be worth a look.

Two new arrivals

Wednesday saw the arrival of two 'U-Too' babies. Ellie was born at 6.30 am, 8lbs 5ozs. So congratulations to Laura and Chris. Then Paige arrived a month early at 5lbs 1oz. So Max now has a little sister and Den and Lisa are going to have their hands full!

Ellie had to go back into hospital on Friday because she was jaundiced. Laura stayed in overnight with her but, although she was fortunate enough to have a room to herself, Chris was not allowed to stay with her. They found his exclusion very upsetting but, of course, there was nothing they could do about it. It's another example of the way in which young fathers are excluded at crucial times by health service professionals, and an illustration of how far we still have to go to make such services fully inclusive.

The Psychologist

Last year nearly 20 U-Too young dads completed a questionnaire about their lives and I wrote a paper which has finally appeared in this month's edition of The Psychologist. Details can be found on The Fatherhood Institute website at:
http://www.fatherhoodinstitute.org/index.php?id=13&cID=1071

or on The Psychologist's website at:
http://www.thepsychologist.org.uk/

More U-Too material can also be found on the FI website at:

http://www.fatherhoodinstitute.org/index.php?search=1&id=0&keyword=u-too&imageField.x=11&imageField.y=14

Sex and culture - worth talking about

This was the title of the event held in Exeter yesterday, organised by the Government Office South West. Mike, Den and Lisa presented a case study based on Dads Matter Too and the Arts Award. Needless to say, Den and Lisa stole the show! Here is some of the feedback they received:

"Really enjoyed hearing your heartfelt comments about the projects and what you got out of them. Some great messages to take back to my own area when trying to sell them the idea of developing similar projects locally. Good luck to you both and THANKS!”

“Well articulated, clear points. You have done a superb job of describing your project and the outcomes you have as a result”

“It was so good to hear Den & Lisa speak so fluently and reflectively about their experiences. A real boost to the event.

Mike wrestles with the mike
Den writes a receipt
Den and Lisa with their photos

Max is a star

The next generation is on its way. Max was given his teacher's Special Award last Thursday. Den and Lisa are suitably proud!

Trowbridge has three firsts

Congratulations to Charmaine and Johnny on the birth of Harmony who weighed in at 5lbs 11ozs after an uncomfortably long labour. Johnny was pleased to learn that Harmony's APGAR was 9, which he knew from the young dads-to-be course meant that she was fine.

And congratulations too to Chris, Laura, Steve and Charmaine (and Ashton) who have started working on our level 2 'effective parenting' course. This is the first time that any young dads, let alone couples, have worked on this course and we're looking forward to working together over the next few months.

And more congratulations, this time to Will and Aurora, who have both attended a Red Cross Infant & Child First Aid workshop at Studley Green Children's Centre recently and now have certificates to prove it.

Front Cover Models

Pat and Marcus have made the big time. Pat is on the front cover of the very first edition of Wiltshire Council's magazine which will find its way through letterboxes county-wide. And Marcus and Harley appear on the front cover of Practising Midwife, the journal in which Jackie's great article appeared last month.

There's a piece about Pat inside the Wiltshire magazine because he was one of the lucky 18-24 year olds who benefited from the Government's Future Jobs Fund. "Young father Patrick Coffin, featured on the cover, was the first person to secure a job as a farm hand at Wiltshire College Lackham under the new scheme. He had been out of work for two years. This has helped Patrick turn his life round and secure a brighter future for his family and himself." Marcus continues to hold down his job, and received a pay rise recently. Well done to you both.

More media stuff

• The Government is publishing a handbook for 'new' fathers which has provoked a bit of media interest. Local radio covered the story this morning. Chris (in Trowbridge) and I were interviewed by both BBC Wiltshire Sound and BBC Swindon.

• Johnny (in Trowbridge) has been talking to a presenter from BBC Switch on London about the possibility of an interview for the Revealed programme on BBC2 on the same subject.

• Stuart and Marcus (in Melksham) have been talking to a film-maker from Bristol who has been commissioned to make a film for BBC4 about fathers' changing roles.

• Den (in Swindon) has had his story written up as a brief case study for the DCSF.
  

• A freelance producer approached us in December because he was making a 'fast turnaround' documentary about couples who were having a baby as the result of a whirlwind romance (!). One couple talked to him but it turned out that he didn't think their romance was whirlwind enough. You can't make this stuff up (part 1).
  

• A journalist from the Observer approached us, also last month, because its Woman's magazine wanted an article about young parents who were managing to stay together despite the difficulties they had to face. The journalist's editor expressed an interest in talking to two U-Too couples, but when she discovered that the two dads were ex-offenders she got cold feet, despite the fact that both these young men have turned their lives around. Sounds like she want some unrealistically rosy picture and our couples didn't fit the bill. Looks like Observer Woman isn't ready for the reality of young parenthood. You can't make this stuff up (part 2).

Practising Midwife

I've just been sent some copies of December's edition of this journal. The front cover has the picture of Marcus and Harley which first appeared in the 2009 Dads Matter Too calendar. And inside there's a great article by Jackie about U-Too Dads. I'll get copies out next week to everyone who appears in the article.