Den's Dad Rap

Dads-To-Be is the place to be.
The Dads they see,
When they started,
They did not know any information.

Can’t you see that if it wasn’t for U-Too
None of us would have a clue.
Two months down the line
We’re doing fine.

We know so much wicked information,
Just like me.
Yeah, times will be hard,
But they taught us, when you’re mad,
To take a step back and relax
And try again and put it into simple facts.

Me and the dads have got together
To do a DVD
So we can speak free
About being a dad.

People say young people like myself are mad,
But I’m just enjoying watching my lad
Grow up.

Help for Training Event

Nicola said...
Hi everyone, Nicola here again. We are holding a training event on Wed 28 Feb for Connexions advisers, housing staff, children’s centre staff and health visitors. We were hoping some of you might like to run a workshop on how to engage and work with young fathers. The event is from 10 till 1 in Devizes (we would sort out transport and lunch for you). If you are interested, please let Mike know and we will catch up in the New Year. Merry Christmas!

"Santa loves us," says Gareth

I would like to inform you all that Christmas has come early, not for us but for the filming project. I got a gorgeous call from my contact (John!) saying that he had received a letter from WYPOF saying that we didn't get the money. JOKE! We were very successful with our application and have been awarded all that we asked for. On behalf of the group I would like to thank WYPOF for supporting our project. We will be posting more stuff as the project proceeds. Thanks to Jackie and Marcus for the latest photos.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year from the "It's All Your Fault" team!

Baby First Aid course

I've just received an email from Dannie Houlden, who will be running the course. He says that it will cover the following topics:

Dealing with an incident

Recovery position

CPR adults

CPR (Child & Baby)

Choking

Infantile convulsions

Bleeding

Questions and Answers

He reckons he needs 5 hours to cover everything so, with an 11am start we'll finish at 5pm, with an hour's break for lunch. Numbers will be limited to 12 so there may be competition for places. You have been warned!! You'll need to arrange for the children to be looked after during the day, because we can't afford to run a creche. Let me know if that's a problem.

Of course, this means that there won't be enough time for the Jolly Roger trip, which is no bad thing because we know that our budget has been over-extended.

Another great day ...

I thought it was a bit crowded. 26 of us met up in the Large Meeting Room at the Link Centre yesterday morning – including dads, mums, babes, film maker, and researcher. Gareth and John had epic journeys from Salisbury and Warminster, yet another reminder, if one was needed, about the problems of public transport in rural counties.

After a lot of chat we got down to the main business of the morning – agreeing the film's content. The main message the dads want to get over is that young fathers "are not all the same" and they want to challenge the stereotypical view of them as people who are not prepared to face up to their responsibilities. The group discussed their feelings when their babies arrived and went on to discuss housing and benefits issues. Jackie filmed all this and went on to film some more personal material with several dads. At least six of the them want to be filmed at their own places some time in the New Year.

Steve talked about the research he has been doing – looking at how young men change as they become fathers. He has already carried out 5 interviews with U-Too dads-to-be and is waiting for them all to become fathers before carrying out a further set of interviews. His initial findings are that people don’t expect expectant young dads to be interested in what’s happening to their partners and that they therefore tend to be invisible to health service professionals.

We didn’t find it too surprising that he had found it difficult to locate young dads-to-be to interview. He said that it was relatively easy to find older guys, in their thirties, more settled in life, to interview. But to find younger guys was more of a challenge. He said he’d tried handing out 1000 leaflets outside cinemas and shopping centres but got no response. It was only when he approached U-Too that he was able to find young men to interview.

Partners and children joined us for lunch. Afterwards we all made our way, by various means, to The Oasis, for some more filming. Jackie has already posted stills elsewhere on the blog, as well as shots Marcus took in the morning. Another very worthwhile day, and a tribute to everyone who contributed to make it so.

Posting by email

Aha! This is a way for people to post to the blog by email..

Hopefully this helps make it easier for the dads to send posts themselves.

Several people have had trouble accessing the blog over the last month,
because blog sites are 'blocked' at colleges and even at public libraries.

Apparently that's because they're thought of as just for chatting...
but there's actually loads of really interesting, current information on blogs, just like this...

Swimming Pix

December Meeting Pix

Photos taken by Marcus during the meeting at the Link Centre...

More ideas

Mark asks if it's possible to do any animations, and he has ideas for a proper jewel case together with artwork because he says we'll feel more proud of it.

Here's the deal for Saturday 8th Dec

All is set for next Sat. It's come round a bit quick!

We're meeting up in the same room in the Link Centre at 11am. Partners and children are invited but will be amusing themselves elsewhere till 1pm. The purpose of the meeting is to tie down what each dad wants to say in the film and to see whether there are any general themes to pick up on. We also need to work out which dad needs filming at home and when this can be done.

Lunch will be at 1pm as before when partners will join us and then we'll go off to the Oasis for a filming session which is due to start at 2.30pm and should last till 3.30p

Funding update

I spoke to my contact at WYPOF yesterday because we haven't heard whether our grant application has been successful. She told me the delay has been caused by the difficulty in getting the people together who take the decision. She says the meeting should now take place on 11th December. Watch this space.

Updated Second Saturday Schedule

SATURDAY 8TH DECEMBER
SWINDON
MEETING AT LINK CENTRE
SWIMMING @ OASIS

SATURDAY 12TH JANUARY
SWINDON
BABY FIRST AID COURSE
JOLLY ROGER

SATURDAY 9TH FEBRUARY
TROWBRIDGE
BABY MASSAGE COURSE
GREENSHOOTS NURSERY

SATURDAY 8TH MARCH
SWINDON
FILM EDITING
ICE SKATING

Visitors to the Dads Matter Too Blog

It would be great to hear comments and feedback from any visitors to this blog... how did you hear about the blog, and do you know any of the people involved? What's your interest in Dads' Matters - do you know any other good projects going on, or places we could show the finished film?
John asked if we could put a counter on the site, so I've added one to try out.

Change of programme

Gareth and John reckon that we ought to meet in Swindon again next month instead of Salisbury. This is because we overspent our budget on Saturday by more than £100. The cost of transport for the Swindon dads, plus partners and children to Salisbury, will cause an even greater overspend, so it makes financial sense to get the Wiltshire dads, plus partners and children to Swindon.
We could have more discussion about the film in the morning, with perhaps some individual interviews, have lunch and then go on to the Oasis, or have another climbing session, this time with partners.
Mike will discuss this with everyone when he meets up with them, but if you see this post and can reply, please do so and let the rest of the group know what you think.

How we've got to where we are

It's more than two years since John and Gary put the pressure on for U-Too dads to make a film about their experiences. Several of them subsequently took part in a film made by the Wiltshire Young Parents Project - with Jackie as the film maker - and then ran successful workshops at Wiltshire's Teenage Pregnancy Conference in Devizes. This encouraged them to set about raising money for their own film. John and Gareth initiated this process and, between them, submitted a bid for Big Boost Lottery funds through the Prince's Trust. After a long, drawn-out process they learned that they had been successful three months ago, but were disappointed to discover that they had been awarded only half the amount they had budgeted for. John has written a new bid, this time to the Wiltshire Young People's Opportunity Fund, and we hope to hear its outcome before the end of this month. So the film is very much a work in progress, to the extent that we are still uncertain whether we will have enough funds to see it through. So this blog is a bit of a hostage to fortune.

Not that this uncertainty has held us back. After we received our Big Boost award John and Gareth drew up a programme of activities, the first of which took place last Saturday. Eight young dads and dads-to-be from Salisbury, Warminster, Melksham, Calne and Swindon met at the Link Centre in Swindon. For several of them, this was the first time they had met, and "Who's the Daddy?" proved a successful icebreaker.

Questions included:
Who was a ballet dance in his youth?
Whose partner took her driving test, and didn't pass it, but didn't fail it either?
Which dad punched a wall, broke his hand, lost his job, and lost his dignity?
Which father shares an interest in dragons with his son?

They went on to work out what message they want the film to deliver, and the audiences they want it delivered to. The discussion was so intense that it continued outside during fag breaks, the arrival of a buffet lunch was ignored, and they had to be reminded that a session on the climbing wall was due to start.

So we've made a great start and look forward to a four month programme which includes courses in baby first aid and baby massage. Partners and children will be involved in these but the film will focus on the importance of dads, as well as mums, in the lives of their children.

So thanks to Brett, Chris, Den, Gareth, John, Marcus, Mark and Rob for a brilliant day, and let's hope that some of the guys who couldn't make it will be able to take part in the rest of the programme.

Climbing Wall Pix

Meeting Pix